Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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