ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
