Duck Duck Cougar?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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