Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
