My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
