I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
