I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
