Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
