great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
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