You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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