Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
