This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
