I wish I only lived at night.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
