we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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