That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize