it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize