Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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