everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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