uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
