Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
