I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
