ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
