This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
