I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
