blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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