She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was born a porn star she said
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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