I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
