it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
