Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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