Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
