I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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