Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
