just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
