She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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