Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
