i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
