So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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