Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
