You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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