he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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