So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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