So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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