Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
