I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize