Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
