Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
