we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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