everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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