glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
