I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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