nut hugger
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
