Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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