He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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