There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
