Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
