I will die if light touches me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
