what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
