i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
