S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
