So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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