no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize