so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
