i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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