I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
