i think i have two assholes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
