is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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