Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
