So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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