We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
