I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
