Umm I'm too high to move.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
