he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
